Emotion management requires long-term effort and energy. If you handle it well, your relationship will be one of mutual trust, stable intimacy, and great happiness. In the world of relationships, let’s analyze how we can better maintain a relationship?
1. Be kind to yourself
In the process of getting along, we will face many trivial things. The best way is to respond to the other person with kindness.
To put it simply, every time you want to doubt the other person, you must use kindness to understand the other person.
For example, when you are angry, you can express your emotions gently. You may find it unbelievable that you are already angry. Can you still express it kindly?
Of course, when you vent your emotions to the other person, you still think about the other person and tell the other person why you are emotional.
For example, you made an appointment with a man to watch a movie at eight o'clock, but he ended up stuck in traffic for more than ten minutes. Normally, you might say, "It's not easy to watch a movie. You're late. Am I important to you?"
This is venting, but if you respond in kind, "Although I know you're late, it's not yours." Wrong, it’s just that when I was waiting for you, I was afraid that you wouldn’t come, and I was a little disappointed.”
This is a kind response, not directly questioning the man, telling his emotions, but still thinking about the other person. .
Not only when venting emotions, but also responding in kind. When you face the other person's behavior, if you make a negative analysis, it will hurt the relationship between the two people and trust will be broken.
For example, the other party bought you a birthday gift. He bought you lipstick, even though you just hinted that he wanted a bag. You say: "You just don't understand me. I said I don't want lipstick."
But maybe the other person really doesn't understand, so it becomes, you feel that he doesn't want to care about you and doesn't understand you. It felt like he had tried very hard, but he was still not sure.
A kind response is to analyze the other person's behavior positively, and even if the other person does not meet your expectations, you still affirm him.
For example, you just bought a gift, and your kind response is: "Although I like this bag very much, I also like the lipstick you gave me, which shows that you chose it very carefully."
2. Learn to have a growth mindset
Actually, how can we better maintain a relationship? I often ask you To growth mindset, how you view a relationship and what you do when different problems arise.
People with a growth mindset have longer-lasting, more stable relationships.
So what does it mean to have a growth mindset?
To put it simply, use the idea of ??continuous learning and growth to manage relationships. Don’t run away and leave when problems arise.
For example, when he gets along with the other personWhen you are in love, you like to throw his socks on the sofa and you say: "Why are you like this? I don't think we are suitable." This is because of a small behavior and he denies the relationship.
A growth mindset is to discover the other person’s bad habits, but to be willing to solve the problem with the other person and face it in the right way instead of avoiding it directly.
Everyone will have a beautiful imagination of love. For example, two people should always have something to say, be together forever, have common interests and hobbies, etc.
But there is a gap between these beautiful imaginations and reality, and people with a growth mindset will take this as a signal to better understand each other.
For example, your ideal partner is a stable, mature, and dedicated man, but the other person is a little naive, a little childish, and cares about the family.
This is not what you expected at all, but it is also information that you know better about him.
This growth mindset won’t make you feel like everything is fine.
For example, if you believe that a man who has been educated repeatedly will change, this is not a growth mindset and is too optimistic.
So you must know what is going on. This already hints whether your relationship can continue.
