I don’t know if you have had such an experience. You are asking yourself, wondering whether you should continue this relationship. I want to think about my friends who are thinking about this issue. , most of them are in a state of physical and mental exhaustion. It may be caused by frequent quarrels recently, or it may be caused by a girlfriend going too far. So should we continue? Today I will share my own opinion.
In fact, the principle here is very simple. It depends on the proportion of your "internal consumption" and "gain", and whether the overall situation is developing in a good direction, whether it is your true feelings or inner growth. If the proportion of internal consumption is much higher than the gain, it is recommended to stop the loss in time. Otherwise, you are not deeply affectionate, but unable to grasp it clearly.
In a relationship, what you give and gain is nothing more than emotional value, material support, companionship and care, and self-growth.
For example, whether you get respect, recognition, and support in this relationship; whether you can make yourself better and better and accept yourself more and more; whether you feel supported and safe, etc. If nothing is gained, and it is all internal friction and self-consolation, then the relationship will be difficult to sustain, or it will be very difficult to maintain, and there will always be unknowing resentment, with an increasingly strong sense of self-sacrifice. To kill the vitality of the numb self.
Generally speaking, there will not be an ideal relationship that meets all functions, but at least choose the one that satisfies what you care about most. After communication, coordination, and running-in, if the other party cannot do it, you must be mentally prepared. Don't assume that the future will be long, and change slowly. You must know that changing someone is the most difficult thing, and you need to be able to back up your own choices. Behind every individual there are deep-rooted influences such as family of origin and subconsciousness. What you are fighting against is his entire thinking and behavior pattern. Therefore, changing the other person to satisfy yourself will mostly make both parties feel tired.
For example, if you fancy the other person’s ability and strong female side, then don’t complain that she is not gentle and considerate enough; Don’t dislike her for only asking for money...
Friendly reminder, problems that are intolerable in love may appear after marriage. It has been magnified several times, so if you feel uncomfortable, don't choose to ignore it and avoid it, but face it directly and solve it in time.
Everyone’s growth trajectory is different. After their values ??mature, the former co-production may turn into mutual incomprehension. Therefore, it is very important to always maintain self-improvement and good communication. Individual independence helps not to be too far away from each other during the process of growth; when you have to leave, you will not feel that the sky is falling and the whole world has collapsed.
When you take a serious look at a relationship and determine that there is nothing to gain, or even if it looks good to outsiders,But when I am physically and mentally exhausted, depressed, worrying about gains and losses, surrounded by negative emotions, and trying to change to no avail, I hope I can have the courage to escape in time.
Don’t paralyze yourself by holding on to your past suitability and increase your sunk costs. You need to think clearly, are you afraid of loneliness and the unknown, or do you really want to be with the other person? It will definitely be uncomfortable to fight against long-term inertia, but the future is long, and the choice should never be just patience.
If you are lucky enough to encounter the right relationship, please cherish, restrain, tolerate and maintain it carefully;
It is okay to enter the wrong relationship, but you need to maintain awareness and the ability and courage to stop losses in time. , Life is very long, don’t let one small episode affect the whole life.
