Recently I heard a cry from a friend. He asked me why his relationship never lasted more than a month, as if he was under a curse.
In response to this situation, I asked him to tell me about his situation in detail. I found that he had a very fatal problem, that is, he had many and many requirements for his girlfriend, which made me feel If it were me, I wouldn't be able to bear it.
So I told him about this discovery. He didn’t understand it very well at first. After I sorted it out, He also discovered the problem and said he would pay attention to it.
When I talk about this matter here, I want to say that there must be many people like him who want to find out what kind of relationship can last for a long time. Let’s take a look today. .
First of all, here is an important piece of advice. This advice applies to family and friend relationships regardless of gender, which is:
Don’t try to change the other person!!!
Many times, many people will say, why does the other person seem to change as soon as they fall in love? The initial gentleness and considerateness, the ability to open up and chat, and the comfort of being friends, why do they change as soon as they fall in love? Will it go bad?
Because as friends, we don’t have too many expectations for each other. We don’t have any requirements. As long as the other party does a little more for us, we will be very satisfied and feel that we are different. . However, after becoming a couple, we will be very picky about each other. We think that because our identities are different, shouldn’t we treat me better?
Sometimes when the relationship is different, we will forget our original intentions. We like Is it this person? Or do you like him who treats me well? When we were friends, she didn’t check in every day or chat with you every day. Don’t you like her just as much?
In a long-term relationship, you cannot ask the other person to change for you. If she is really good to you, that is great. But if she does not meet your requirements, no one will compromise under rational communication. If you arrive, leave. Don't make noise, don't make noise, because what you get by making noise will definitely not be what you want, so why bother.
If you want to quarrel or make a fuss, you can only have one purpose, which is to make a fuss for the best interests of the relationship, not for your own feelings or interests. If she doesn't give you enough sense of security, you can discuss a plan that everyone can implement comfortably. If both parties can't compromise, just leave. This person is not suitable.
But the premise is that you need to understand this person well before establishing a relationship. It’s not like whoever treats you better is just anxious to be with the other person. If you find that it’s not suitable, just break up. That’s not the case. of.
If you want to develop for a long time, early understanding is very necessary. You must be sure to know this person.It suits you, and you are willing to do something for this relationship, rather than just hoping that this relationship can bring you something.
The conclusion is: If you want a comfortable and long-term relationship, both parties should think more about the other person’s position, personality, background, and difficulties, and should not blindly please the other party, nor blindly try to change the other party. The most comfortable relationship lies in balance and suitability for both parties. Don't change yourself for anyone, and don't ask others to change.
