When a husband and wife get along for a long time, it is inevitable that there will be some small conflicts and frictions, and if these things accumulate too much, they will inevitably want to find someone to complain about, but these are all private matters between the husband and wife. Can we talk about private matters between us?
It is said that one is established at thirty and has no doubts at forty, but as age increases, career , the stability of the family, and the crisis of middle age also follows. The so-called mid-life crisis is not only physical disfigurement and age anxiety, but also emotional loneliness and family crisis.
There are many studies showing that middle age is the age when it is most likely to have affairs and betrayal of marriage. The reason is very simple. Five words: "full and warm, lustful thoughts". When most people reach middle age, they have a small career and a family. Stability, experience, and capital are available, but all that is missing is the passion of youth. This kind of passion cannot be filled by looking at chicken soup or shouting slogans.
Han Han once said, "Women use friendship to reject love, and men use friendship to exchange for love." The relationship between friends of the opposite sex is inherently delicate. If there is no sense of propriety, crossing the bottom line will hurt others and even more hurt yourself.
As the saying goes, family scandals should not be made public. Everything in your marriage, right or wrong, right or wrong, is your husband and wife’s private matter. Don’t tell any friends of the opposite sex at will. Do you think you You are just vomiting, but if you talk too much, the other person will inevitably guess the reason for your complaint.
One: Rumors stop with the wise, cheating begins with complaints
A friend of mine is like this, His marriage was ruined by the hundreds of pages of chat history. To protect privacy, let’s call him Little A.
Little A and his wife have been married for 7 years. Their marriage is dull. There are no major events, but there are many trivial things, which gradually wear away Little A’s enthusiasm for marriage.
And Xiao A happens to have a college classmate who has known him for many years. They met in college, but they were not very close at first. After graduation, due to work, their relationship gradually became closer. Xiao A put his thoughts on marriage. All dissatisfaction was expressed to this opposite-sex classmate. It must be said that this opposite-sex classmate was a very good listener.
Every time Little A complained, the other party listened quietly and then comforted her appropriately. Little A and she both had to go to work during the day.
Such conversations were arranged in At night, we talked a lot, and Little A couldn't help but compare this opposite-sex classmate with his significant other.
Instead of saying that "what you don't get is always turbulent", compared to the wives who have seen each other day and night and seen all the ugly things about each other, Little A's heart gradually began to favor this classmate of the opposite sex.
Two: Emotional fermentation and collapse
The chat content will also change fromA simple talk turned into ambiguous hints. This student of the opposite sex was not stupid, and he quickly saw what Xiao A meant.
This kind of ambiguous relationship has developed from online to offline. The two of them go out for dinner and go shopping, just like a couple in love. However, since it is an extramarital affair, it will definitely be discovered one day.
One of the nights, when Little A’s partner was on a business trip to Guo Zuo, he chatted with Little A in the middle of the night and sent a message, but I always saw that the other party was typing... but no message was sent.
I simply made several video calls, but the other party kept refusing to answer. The other party wanted to ask about the situation at home, but Little A either took a long time to reply, or just said perfunctorily, "It's fine." This made Little A The other half is very worried.
It just so happened that the work in the company had come to an end, and Little A’s other half simply returned home a day early, blocking Little A and this opposite-sex classmate. Out of anger, he filed for divorce. It turned out that Little A had been typing that night and just sent the message to others.
Three: Love means respecting each other and respecting others
There is a saying that from the day we complain to each other , the love between friends of the opposite sex begins to be restless. Many times, ambiguity is not caused by saying too little, but because of saying too much.
Especially late at night, people will become emotional late at night, will unconsciously make too many impulsive decisions, and have a strong desire to talk. If they define each other as friends from the beginning, then Just don't make any ambiguous jokes. The most important thing when making friends is not intimacy, but respect, respect for your friends, respect for your partner, and respect for yourself.
When you reach middle age, please remember one sentence: Don’t be ambiguous if you cannot give yourself a future. Ambiguity will not make you attractive, it will only make people think that you are too low-level and unclear. Chu is never a good thing.
When married men and women interact, they must remember to maintain a proper balance between intimacy and distance, and do not say ambiguous words or do deviant things. This is good for everyone.
