I don’t know how many people have not gotten married because they couldn’t agree on the bride price. There are many such examples around me. The two people had a good relationship at first, and when they got to the point of discussing marriage, everything was going well. However, the woman increased the bride price before the marriage, from the original 100,000 to 200,000. As a man, I would like to ask the woman how to solve the problem of increasing the bride price before marriage?
1. Is the other person really your ideal partner?
What I said today may be serious, and I may be chased and scolded by a bunch of people, but I still have to say it. Because I really don’t want more honest people to encounter this kind of tragedy - thinking that they have found love, but in fact they have found an ancestor. My point of view is very straightforward. There are two types of people you cannot marry before getting married:
1. A daughter-in-law whose betrothal gift + gift money exceeds 200,000, and there is no equal gift in return, is generally not allowed to marry. Even if you get married, you Can't control it either.
2. If you change your mind before marriage, increase the amount of bride price at will, and use the so-called "sincerity and improvement" as an excuse, you can directly block the person.
Of course, if your family has a big business and a gift of hundreds of thousands is just pocket money, then just pretend that I didn’t say anything.
2. What is the significance of betrothal gifts?
Of course, I am not against betrothal gifts, but the The ultimate goal should only be to celebrate, not to squeeze the man's parents' pension fund. I have asked many boys, and these people are really not opposed to betrothal gifts, but these boys only accept the following forms of betrothal gifts:
1. The man will give a bride price, and the woman will give a dowry. The man can give more, and the bride price is also Reserved for small family emergencies.
2. The man will pay for the house, and the woman will pay for the car and decorations. The bride price and dowry are all within the scope of ability. The names of both parties are written on the house.
3. The man pays the bride price and the down payment of the house, and the woman gives a similar dowry, and at the same time helps to repay the mortgage together, and the house is also written with both parties’ names.
The core of these three items, men boil down to one point of view: I can give more, but do I have to drain my parents? no.
In a sense, boys who adhere to this way of thinking can generally find good girls, and there is a high probability that they will not meet those materialistic girls who are open-minded.
Generally, for girls whose betrothal gifts are not that high, the two of them should make money after marriage, take on obligations when they have to, and live in harmony, with few troubles.
On the contrary, the betrothal gifts are extremely high, and the woman’s family can hardly afford any of it. After getting married, most of them are the type who don’t want to get married. They need betrothal gifts before marriage and compensation for giving birth to children. , I don’t make any money, I don’t do much housework, I just rely on my resentful husband to take care of it.
Three, Be careful with high-priced betrothal gifts
I wonder if you have ever reflected on this question: "Why do girls who want more betrothal gifts be unwilling to assume corresponding obligations after marriage?" From behavioral psychology , there is such a concept called [obedience test].
The so-called obedience test is to test your bottom line step by step, slowly squeeze out your value, and control your thoughts like boiling a frog in warm water. When you can't live without this person, the rest Life is now at her mercy.
Just like many couples, your relationship seems to be very good on the surface, but in fact it is all false "love".
She will leave all the housework to you before marriage, so she will have a reason to be the boss at home after marriage;
She will confiscate 40% of your income before marriage, and she will be confident that she can handle every penny after marriage. She doesn’t make any money, she relies on you to support her;
She dared to suddenly increase the bride price to 200,000 before marriage, and then she had the courage to borrow money from you after marriage to buy a house for her mother-in-law’s family...
Because in her step-by-step testing, she came to the conclusion that you are a weak man who dare not resist and has no temper. As long as you give you a little good face, you can drain you endlessly. value. She can completely wear the cloak of "love" and treat you like an ATM machine. The euphemistic name is "making you work harder", but in fact it means "she doesn't want to work hard at all, but she wants to drain you for generations." wealth of man”.
Love itself is something that requires the joint efforts of two people. But she uses a high profile to force you to work hard alone. Isn't this bullying an honest person?
Finally, I suggest that all men, once they hear words such as "motivation" and "sincerity" in the bride price, treat it as Listen to the bullshit. Going around and around just means one thing - to add money, once the man doesn't give it to the family, even if they get married, the woman will immediately pack up and go back to her parents' home, and there will be no one who can't invite back the sedan chair. Once the woman is sure that the man cannot afford a penny, she will start to consider divorce. So, run as early as possible when you can!
