Question: I have been with my girlfriend for two years and have recently planned to get married. Last night she asked me, if we get married, how much money do I plan to hand over to her every month? Because everyone around her gave their money to their daughter-in-law after marriage. To be honest, I really don’t know how to answer this question. We all manage our money during our relationship, and I tend to do the same after marriage.
Moreover, she spends money lavishly, and once used her credit card to buy the latest Apple mobile phone. I really find it difficult to agree with this consumption model. It’s not easy for me to make money myself, and I also want to save money for my future family. But telling her directly like this will probably cause conflict. Please tell me how should I respond better?
What should I do if my girlfriend asks me how much money I will give her every month after we get married?
Answer: The answer your girlfriend wants to hear is that in the future, you will hand over your salary card and all your money will be handed over to her for safekeeping. And you actually understand all this, but if you obey her, you will feel uncomfortable. If you don't obey her, she must have a lot of opinions about you, and may even quarrel with you, break up with you, and say that you don't care about her.
What does this mean? It means that no matter what you choose, there will be conflicts between you because of money. In short, it will make one person feel uncomfortable, and then the relationship will not be harmonious. So what should we do?
At this time, it is particularly important to be able to speak clearly and show off each other's cards. Because two people's transition from love to marriage is a process of getting along with each other. If two people can get along well, they will naturally reach the end. But if you have irreconcilable conflicts in the process, then being together will torture each other, and breaking up will be a matter of time.
Returning to the matter of money, the problem of money cannot be solved simply, and there is no research that can show that after marriage, women will Money should be managed. In a family, the person who manages money should be managed by someone who knows how to manage money. So from the perspective of "money", let's analyze rationally whether the woman is in charge of the money or whether she should manage it herself. The core is "Whoever has more financial acumen will be in charge."
And you said that your girlfriend spends money lavishly, and even uses her credit card to buy a new mobile phone when she has no money. This shows that she obviously has no concept of financial management. , only knows how to consume but not manage finances, leaving your money to her will be useless. Maybe she is at least purely brainwashed by the so-called chicken soup of the Internet, and then uses the experience of someone around her to support her own ideas and concepts, so as to ask you.
Regarding this situation, it is recommended that you talk to her openly. If she can understand and accept it, everyone will be happy. If she is still unreasonable and cannot change her mind, then I may have to advise you that her idea is not advisable, and even this woman cannot be married. If she insists on doing this, you still think about the old relationship and hesitateIf she doesn't decide, then it's not her problem. I hope you can use the above suggestions as a reference.
