Couples in love are always very sweet. Such sweetness will also put a filter on the eyes of both parties. However, when the love is over, the shortcomings of both parties will gradually appear. This period is the dull period when it is easiest to break up. So how can you maintain a relationship so as not to break up at this time?
1. Positive Illusion
Maybe you When you first come into contact with your romantic partner, you will feel that the other person has countless advantages and is the partner you want to find; and the other person also thinks so, so your relationship is very harmonious. This is actually the role of positive illusion. . Positive illusion mainly means that both parties in love change their idealized self-image into the impression of the ideal object, and then project this impression of the ideal object onto the real person, so when you are in love, you will not I feel like there is something wrong with getting along. For example:
Gangzi was first attracted to an ideal girl. That girl was sincere, gentle and considerate, and her appearance was also the type that Gangzi liked. Everything seemed to match Gangzi's ideal type of girl. Friends standards. But in the months after they got together, Gangzi discovered a lot of differences between him and this perfect girl, some of which were even completely inconsistent with Gangzi's imagination!
In Gangzi's situation, there are two development directions:
One is for Gangzi and the girl to communicate about the problems and conflicts between them, and then the two of them will work together and work together to gradually After adapting to living with each other, Gangzi will feel that my positive illusion at the beginning was actually right, because later on his girlfriend's behavior was not far different from before.
The second situation is that Gangzi forces his girlfriend to become the same as before, otherwise he feels that his girlfriend is cheating on him. The girl felt that I had always been like this and never changed, and they didn’t want to give in to each other, so they eventually parted ways!
Here, the editor wants to talk about how to maintain the relationship after the period of love, which is to use positive illusions. Only by harmonizing the strengths and weaknesses of both parties can love last for a long time!
2. Emotional balance
Love period Maintaining relationships and making love last long require both parties to work hard on each other. If one party in a relationship invests a lot, but the other party only accepts and does not know how to give or gives very little, then there may be an emotional imbalance, and the party who gives more will naturally feel dissatisfied. This is where the emotional issues arise. In a relationship, both loving and being loved are important. To maintain a long-term relationship, you must learn to maintain a balance of emotional balance!
3.Psychological flexibility
Psychological flexibility in love refers to the multi-faceted nature of people in love and life. You can be restrained and calm, or you can be humorous and interesting. These multiple sides can make the other person feel a lot of differences when they get along with you, so that you can maintain the relationship. pleasure. This is also the same as what we often say about occasionally bringing surprises and romance in relationships to show the ritual sense of special days.
If you want to continue to be in love after the love period, the summary is that both parties in the relationship must make efforts and tolerate each other. Try to change the things that can be changed, and be more tolerant of the things that cannot be changed. After all, two people are different individuals, and it is of course impossible to achieve a complete tacit understanding. And the same is true for the secret to a long-lasting relationship.
