When chasing a girl, once the other party suddenly doesn’t reply or returns late, many boys’ mentality will easily collapse. This is actually a worry about gains and losses in the relationship. So when we encounter this kind of situation when chasing girls, how can we quickly adjust our mentality?
1. Let’s take a look first. What's the problem?
Let's assume for a moment that you haven't seen the person you like for a long time, and you send her a WeChat message at six o'clock on Friday night asking: "What are you doing?"
As a result, it’s eight o’clock in the evening, and the other party still hasn’t replied to you.
What are you most worried about at this time? Do you think in your heart: "Oh, I haven't looked at my phone for two hours. What have I been doing? Why didn't I reply to me? Did I say the wrong thing before? I didn’t say anything. You and I had a good conversation before!”
I don’t know if you have noticed that all the doubts here are related to “I”, and they are all thinking about yourself. .
In other words, you have invisibly connected yourself with her very closely, hoping that the other party can chat with you according to our subconscious plan.
But when she doesn’t do this, you panic. This is actually a desire for control.
So when you are not aware of this problem, you may be unconsciously exerting some pressure on the other party, making the other party think that you are too controlling.
2. Why does the mentality collapse?
You may be thinking: Why can’t I be like her? So calm, how come I never go two hours without replying to someone else's WeChat message?
At this time, should we think about whether you have been revolving around other people's lives?
Have you been chatting for a long time, but there is no actual progress in the relationship? Compared with the people you like, do you have significantly fewer friends than her?
If so, now you Do you understand?
For example, you have nothing to do on the weekends and feel that it is a good time to chat, but maybe she has a lot of things arranged there. Girls like to go shopping and get a manicure during the holidays.
You see, her time is divided into many pieces, and you may only be given a small piece of it.
But as for you, you give her a large chunk of your time, and the relationship becomes unknowingly unequal. The emotionally unstable one is, of course, you.
3. What should you do if your mentality changes?
In fact, the method is very simple. If you don’t reject making friends in your heart, friends, then expand your circle of friends.
Arrange more spare time activities toFill up your time and get in touch with more things you haven't played with before. Maybe the one you like will be tricked by you one day.
If you are more introverted and don’t like socializing, you can pick up a new hobby.
Wouldn’t it be nice to spend more time on this hobby, such as playing guitar, painting, and singing, and become all-round and excellent?
When you know how to do something Skills are different now. When you chat again and she asks you what you are doing, you will have a lot to say.
At this time, you are exchanging value and showing value. If you are happy, she will be happy too, how great.
