During this period of time, I suddenly discovered that there were many people posting their marriage certificates in the circle of friends. In fact, this happened usually, and it was quite normal.
But only during this period, many marriage certificates with a wide age range came and went in front of me, some even 15 years apart. Suddenly, I felt like I was in a hurry.
Actually, I didn’t think too much about this issue at first, until a student came to me in a panic yesterday.
This is one of our very early students. He is a returnee from overseas who is a practical sect. I was with him when I took him offline. We talked a bit about our past lives.
His overall experience was very similar to that of the domineering president in the TV series, and he even deliberately complained about it at the time.
He studied abroad, and the first company he founded was a foreign taxi service industry. After calculating the profits and costs, he just did it and it turned out pretty well.
In this case, why did you return to China?
He must have been unwilling to return to China at that time, because his parents wanted him to come back to manage the company, and then reluctantly sold the company that he had worked so hard for. The company he founded returned to China.
With such a person, can he not find a girlfriend?
Of course it is impossible. But because of his actual status and income, many girls go there for his money.
Every time girls ask for money from boys, either to buy bags or cosmetics.
In the end, he couldn’t bear it anymore and found us.
The first thing I asked him to do was to lock up all the high-value items in his circle of friends, from luxury cars to his own home.
This choice was also a turning point in his life. It was during this training that he met his current girlfriend, a 00 A freshman girl.
At the beginning, the student just thought she was cute and liked her personality. However, as the contact deepened, the student began to have headaches.
The girl was too strong, and the boy was very demanding. After several dates, the boy was so anxious that he almost collapsed. At that time, several of our mentors helped him to stabilize the situation. , the relationship will be finalized over time.
About half a year later, this student suddenly sent me a message saying that he had another problem.
Going back to the top question, this boy is 10 years older than this girl, but the boy is already anxious and wants to talk about marriage with this girl.
But the answer given by the girl is that now I just want to fall in love and not get married.
The boy was in a state of confusion at that time. Although the girl was not anxious, the boy was really anxious.
In fact, this matter is not difficult to understand. We need to analyze the psychological problems of the two people:
Boy:
1. After all, he is 30 years old, and his family is also putting pressure on him, forcing him to go on a blind date.
2. When you meet someone who likes you, you must catch him well.
Girls:
1. Reading is a freshman.
2. The world is so big, and there are still many things that have not been done.
The problems they will encounter in this case:
The age gap causes them to have different ideas. One thinks of a stable life, and the other thinks of a colorful world.
However, the advice I give is to try to get along with each other for a while if possible.
1. Ideological constraints:
After all, girls are still freshmen in college. They have not experienced the baptism of society. They look at everything very naively. Their values ????have not been formed. They focus on In the inner world, this is what attracts boys.
Everything has two sides, which leads to girls not wanting to settle down for the time being, but just wanting to enjoy the relationship.
2. Change of identity:
The current state of girls is a very free and lively state. If they cannot accept it for a while, they will become someone else's wife.
When I’m in love, I just need to get along with you and live happily every day.
But after I get married, I have to get along with your family. The two things are completely different, and the change in mentality is earth-shaking. This includes daily clothing, food, housing, transportation, parents' problems, house problems, and future children's problems.
3. The contact time is too short:
It would be very hasty to blindly use a few months to decide the rest of life, which will make girls feel uncomfortable. Great uneasiness.
I asked them to get along with each other for a while, and when the girls finish college, they can get along well with each other during this time.
A suitable couple does not mean how happy they are during the love period, but that they still like the person next to them after being together for a long time.
The second question is that girls are very strong and reject frequent intimate behaviors from boys. They always think that they are only there to help boys solve their physiological needs. In fact, many boys have this kind of problem.
Let me mention here, many boys are very impatient.
A simple kiss and a touch will make it feel like it’s done, which gives girls a very poor experience.
Girls need foreplay.You have to fully arouse the girl's emotions, rather than just focusing on your own interests. A perfunctory and short-term foreplay will result in girls being very repelled by future intimate behaviors.
I won’t say much here for now, let’s get back to the topic.
Based on these questions, I have given some suggestions:
1. Sense of security:
After the intimate act, boys behave more and should give girls more comfort and protection instead of lying on the bed. Girls at this time are the ones who need comfort the most.
2. Sense of connection:
Do more things with girls that have a strong sense of connection, such as cooking a meal together, feeding the dog together, going shopping, and entering into each other’s lives. In hobbies.
If boys like to play games, girls can try to play games together. Girls like to binge-watch dramas, and boys can accompany girls to binge-watch dramas, leaving each other’s footprints in each other’s worlds.
The reason why girls have this idea is that the emotional communication between the two parties is too superficial.
Go more into the other person’s spiritual world and don’t just stay on the surface.
The third problem is the pressure on boys’ families.
Here, boys’ ideas are actually too simplistic. A change in identity can make it difficult for girls to resist, just like premarital phobia;
I asked boys if they have any I have never told my family about the existence of girls, and the boys told me that I have never told them.
This is also a good thing. I ask the boys to talk to the girls about some things at home, and by the way, they mention the pressure on themselves at home and how they respond to these things.
Use a gentle way to integrate girls into his family, so that girls feel that they are also part of the family and feel the warmth of the family.
Finally, I asked the boy if he had any plans for his children. He told me that he had no plans for his children at the moment.
My advice is, if you really love her, don’t have a child too early. This is very important for a girl’s life. Compared with some of her ideas and hobbies, after she has After having children, there will be a big change.
After a girl has a child, she will focus most of her energy on the child, and she will relatively lose her own life.
Until a girl matures and realizes that she wants a child, she can then consider whether to have a child.
Instead of blindly doing it, just satisfying your own ideas.
END
